Internet Backs Woman Unsure About Taking Fiancé’s Last Name: ‘Keep Yours’

Is a name change after marriage an outdated tradition?

Maybe so, but many on TikTok are more concerned with the sacrifice of a “cool” last name for a spouse’s surname. A video on TikTok has gone viral after a woman (@nikkinastasi8) stitched a popular video—claiming that couples should choose the better last name to be their married name—with her particular dilemma. She wanted to keep her name, because she thought it was better than her husband-to-be’s. Since the video was posted, it has received over 470,000 views and over 22,000 likes.

“I need some feedback, I’m really caught in between over here,” she captioned the video, which begins with the original video she stitched.

The creator said: “I felt [the original video] so hard in my bones. I’m getting married on Halloween and my last name is Nastasi…it’s like, Italian…you can really put some stank on it.”

Her fiancé’s name, she revealed, is Schmiddinger.

“I just don’t know—people keep asking me if I’m taking his last name and I’m still unsure,” she said. “Because I love that, I think it’s cute—but ‘Nastasi.'”

Viewers in the comments overwhelmingly backed Nastasi, saying there wasn’t a need to abide by tradition, and even offering alternative options for people who don’t want to change their name but want to be referred to the same as their spouse.

“Keep your name. It’s 2024,” @robin1381 wrote. “You can do whatever you want with your name.”

“When my husband and I got married, we just picked a new name and both changed our names to that. Felt way more fun,” @thefitzandthefunct wrote. “Also taught me what a [pain] it is to update your last name legally.”

“Think of the children!” @catia1nonly wrote.

Some commenters also pointed out cultural differences they’ve experienced between the United States and countries in Europe.

“I’m from Italy,” @nausicaa_da wrote. “We keep our surnames—it’s against the law to change it.”

“I say, keep your name and have him take it too!” @oi6198 wrote. “I don’t get why the woman ‘have to’ take the man’s last name. In Sweden, almost everyone picks the cooler [or] prettier name. My husband took mine.”

In a survey conducted by Pew Research Center in 2023, researchers found that many couples still adhere to the tradition that women take their husband’s last name. Seventy-nine percent of women in opposite-sex relationships reported taking their husband’s last name when they got married. But Nastasi certainly might end up in the minority after this feedback.

Newsweek reached out to @nikkinastasi8 for comment via TikTok.