Rex Heuerman’s Wife in the Dark: Experts Compare Case to BTK’s Double Life

Asa Ellerup had been married to Rex Heuermann for 27 years. The two lived in a one-floor home in suburban Massapequa Park on Long Island. They had a daughter together and Heuermann became Ellerup’s son’s stepfather.

To this day, Ellerup still does not believe her now-estranged husband, who has been charged with six murders, would be able to commit such “heinous act.”

Experts, however, are comparing Heuermann’s alleged “double life act” that Ellerup was unaware of to other serial killers, like the notorious BTK serial killer, Dennis Rader.

Heuermann, the alleged Gilgo Beach serial killer, was charged with now his fifth and sixth murders on Thursday. The 60-year-old architect was first arrested in July 2023 for the deaths of four women whose remains were found in burlap sacks along the Ocean Parkway in New York over a decade ago. He was charged Thursday for the additional deaths of Sandra Costilla and Jessica Taylor.

“I can imagine that if someone is able to get away with several murders, they can also have the skillset to get away with infidelity or lying too,” Dr. Sanjay Adhia, a forensic psychiatrist, told Newsweek.

Photos as well as phone and financial records show that Heuermann’s family were out of state during the time of Taylor’s murder. They were in Virginia from July 20 to 27 that year, according to Suffolk County District Attorney Raymond Tierney.

Ellerup, who is Heuermann’s second wife, was not living with Heuermann in Massapequa Park in 1993, the year Sandra Costilla was murdered, Macedonio told Newsweek.

“After 27 years with Mr. Heuermann, Ms. Ellerup maintains the belief that her estranged husband is not capable of committing these heinous acts,” her attorney, Robert Macedonio, told Newsweek. “(Thursday’s) indictment further illustrates that Asa Ellerup has no involvement in any of the alleged crimes that her estranged husband, Rex Heuermann, has been charged with.”

But she was living with the alleged Gilgo Beach serial killer when his murdering spree continued.

Heuermann has been charged with killing Jessica Taylor, who went missing in 2003. Her remains were found later that year as well as in 2011.

In 2010, police found the bodies of Maureen Brainard-Barnes who went missing in 2007; Melissa Barthelemy who was killed in 2009; Megan Waterman who was last seen in 2010; and Amber Costello who went missing three months after Waterman.

Similar to BTK serial killer

Dr. Robert Schug, forensic psychologist and criminology professor, told Newsweek that marriage often brings stability and accountability.

“It sounds like that was probably what was occurring between Costilla and Taylor,” Schug said. “That’s not shocking…It doesn’t surprise me that he (allegedly) went seven years without murdering while he’s married.”

Ellerup, who used to work at the Long Island Jewish Medical Center, has continued to say she does not believe her estranged husband is capable of such crimes.

The Suffolk County Jail, however, confirmed that Heuermann is visited by three different people, whose names were not disclosed, “frequently.”

Vess Mitev, the attorney for Heuermann’s two children, would not comment if the two adults are visiting Heuermann. Ellerup’s attorney did not respond to Newsweek for comment.

Scott Bonn, an expert on the behavior and motivations of murderers, told Newsweek that Heuermann’s planning and Ellerup’s lack of knowledge are very similar to Dennis Rader’s case.

Rader killed 10 people between 1974 and 1991. In between murders, he lived a normal-looking life in Kansas with a wife and two children.

After 34 years of marriage, Paula Dietz suddenly learned her husband was a serial killer. There were clues riddled across the house, like a lockbox but Dietz apparently never thought to open it. Police believe Dietz never had any idea she was the wife of a killer. Dietz filed for an emergency divorce.

Rader is currently serving 10 consecutive life sentences at the El Dorado Correctional Facility in Kansas.

Adhia noted that a serial killer probably uses similar traits to carry out the murder cases as they do with their families, such as lying and manipulation.

“If you’re able to do these types of things and not have your spouse know about it, it might be a relationship where they don’t know what their spouse is doing,” Schug told Newsweek. “One explanation could be a deteriorating marriage.”

Similarly to Dietz, Ellerup filed for a divorce in the days after Heuermann’s arrest. But she previously said she will withhold judgement on him until the end of the trial.

She has still shown up at several of Heuermann’s hearings throughout the last few months. It is still under discussion as to whether the family will be present at Heuermann’s next court appearance.

The family plans to remain at the house on Long Island until at least the conclusion of the trial, their attorney said. It is still under discussion as to whether they will be present at Heuermann’s next court appearance.